Lost In the Abyss of Dirty Diapers and Butterfly Kisses

So, I haven’t disappeared completely (although I feel like I have succumbed to being part of the walking dead). As my blog readers know, I was pregnant and eventually a baby will make his debut to the world. Well, I would like to introduce to you our precious new addition who was anxious to meet us two weeks early and we are over the moon with him:


I have no luck with my kids. They both look just like my husband. I don’t mind so much because I am over the moon with him too. For the years that I’ve wondered how our kids would look like, I can stop wondering now. It’s surreal that they are my flesh and that they imbue such radiant light and energy. I feel blessed with such a gift from God and as tacky as it is, I’m going to refer to a quote I once heard from One Tree Hill that to be a parent is God’s sign that He still believes in us no matter how much we feel like we have failed (OTH fans, I know I’ve butchered it, so be kind).

My dear Ezra was born so quickly, that we didn’t really have a lot of time to process what happened. Two weeks later, we are just getting used to our new routine. I have to admit that I am scared to death on how I am going to do the following:

  • Homeschool Saffron
  • Take Saffron to her ballet and swimming lessons
  • Breastfeed Ezra every three-four hours
  • Doctor appointments for Saffron’s allergies
  • Constantly change diapers
  • Complete my Business Degree
  • Cook three meals a day for my highly allergic daughter
  • Remember to eat and shower
  • Housework
  • Remember to sleep
  • Avoid swigging a bottle of tequila from the stress of motherhood
  • Try not to forget my marriage
  • Fulfill custom orders from my Etsy shop (don’t worry, if you place an order, it will get done, I promise and pinky swear).

And, yes, I did just make a list because that is who I am…Type Anal. Even more so now that I have to battle my mommy brain from lack of sleep. Lists are lifesavers.

As for Saffron’s relationship with Ezra, it is amazing to watch how she interacts with a new baby in the house. For years, she has been the sole attention because of her eczema and allergies and  we have always been extremely protective of her. We have made too many trips to the ER in a year and have given her too many steroids to not be overprotective; hence, the homeschooling. It gives my husband and I a peace of mind and less isolation for her compared to her going to school and have to be left out of parties and crafts with food that she’s allergic to. We thought that because of all this attention she’s had, she would be jealous, but it has been the opposite. When we got home from the hospital, she was quite the lady. She grew up (literally, she seemed to grow a few inches taller during the three days we were in the hospital). She sings to her brother when he cries and caresses him. She picks things up for me when I am too busy. She graciously pretends to sleep through the night when her brother cries. I have been blessed with such an independent three year old. Although I don’t want her to grow up so fast, having a newborn will have to force her to take on responsibilities of being a big sister. I have such mommy guilt with the less time I spend with her and her routine has been out of whack lately. Fortunately, she doesn’t show a shred of jealousy and has been the perfect big sister.

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In response to this guilt I carry, I knew that I had to spend a whole day with her, just the two of us, doing special things and I had to do it before my amazing mother leaves us. She watched Ezra all day while Saffy and I first ran errands, then to the park, then lunch at Burger King (it’s a special treat for her to get her own french fries because BK has a separate fryer for fries and she hasn’t reacted to eating them). Her face lit up when she got her very own french fries and continued to thank me with so much gratitude (it was really sad because her response showed how deprived of normal food she has been). We then made it to the NC Art Museum and being that she’s a bit older than the last time we had gone, she actually appreciated the trip. We pointed out colors and had our own interpretations of sculptures and paintings. It was nice. No tantrums. No whining. Just love between a mother and her daughter. Nice.

Excuse the graininess in the following images from my Instagram. It was one of those days when I preferred to be more in the moment than focusing on taking pics with my bazooka camera. 


Saffy’s Interpretation: “It’s too big to wash the dishes, Mama.”

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When you have multiple children, you’re pretty much split in two. My husband and I have been through a lot with our first child, which gives us a step ahead with this second one. However, we can’t be equally giving our attention to both children at the same time, so we have agreed that we would have more one on one dates with Saffron, so we don’t miss her growing up so quickly and that she understands that Mama and Papa still love her even with another child to share our love with. Days like the one she and I had at the Museum are humbly simple for us as adults, but extraordinary experiences for our little one.

Hence, our life in a nutshell right now- a bit hectic with less sleep and more to do. Once things start getting into full swing again, DIY Mondays, Thrifty Thursdays, Favorite Fridays, Scrumptious Saturdays, and random Motherhood posts will resume. For now, I’m hoping you are enjoying your summer with lots of fun activities planned and lots of lazy days ahead.





One thought on “Lost In the Abyss of Dirty Diapers and Butterfly Kisses

  1. Pingback: A Magical Thing Happened | hushbound

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